How did I get here – Part 5

In 1999 we felt that God was calling us out from our NFI church and I struggled because I knew I would have to lay down and surrender my worship leading to God, but I also knew God was leading us in another direction. So I gave it all away to Him and said if you want me to pick this up again I will but if not that’s fine! It was very hard to come to that point, I struggled, protested, but eventually surrendered.

We moved to St Lukes the year before the Detling Conference started. Matt was in the worship team very quickly as he had been helping out from time to time. I sat and waited; I did not want to push as I felt that it was for God to give back what I had surrendered not for me to take it or grasp after it. After a period of time I was asked to sing which I did willingly. Leading worship was still the passion of my heart but I was willing to wait to see if the door opened. One night it did. It had been so long since I had lead that I remember feeling quite sick! But the passion had not diminished indeed it had increased.

Over the next few years I continued to learn from those around me. I started to lead worship at the Detling Conference gradually just one session to start and then more, as well as continuing to play a supporting role within the band.

In 2005 I was at a women’s conference and the lady who was speaking had a word for me that I was being hidden by God and that there was purpose in the hiding. I knew God had more for me and I had begun to feel frustrated so that was just the sort of word I needed to hear. God refocused me and again I waited for Him.

In 2006 I was asked to take on co-ordinating the worship for Detling. As I looked back on the 12 years that had passed from the first time I went to Stoneleigh and thought I was ready to take on leading worship at a large conference and I knew I had not been ready and that in the hiddeness God had taught me so much, not only about worship but about who He is and who I am. I realised that He had done so much in me as a person and in my character. I also realised that this was the next step with much more to learn!